Wednesday, June 12, 2013

وصية

كنت كتبت وصية قبل كدة، فيها حاجات كتير وكلام كتير وزوّدتها كمان شوية
حسيت وقتها عدى وكانت في زمن إنتهى

دلوقتي، وصيتي حاجة واحدة بس - تكتبوا على قبري: "سقاه الغرام" 
 آه، وإبقوا دعبسوا في أوضتي واللي يلاقي حاجة تخصه يحتفظ بيها

بس كدة

برغم من كل اللي عملته؛ حبيتكم فشخ وبحبكم فشخ، وبحبك فشخ
خلوا بالكم من نفسكم :)

(P.S.: This is NOT a suicide note! -.-)
I just wish when the time comes there'd be no one I know to read this; that I'm the last to go
I don't want any of the beautiful people I've met to be saddened because of me
No one this lonely should be grieved 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Requiem


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Change

That moment between deep sleep & waking up
or between changing gears while driving
right before you start something different you signed up for
first day at the university
the moment when you realize that your first 7-9 years-long project is fulfilled...with no idea of what's next

A big part of childishness was being able to start new things, venture into the unknown
What happened to that? and how did it disappear...and why?

Too much to hang on, maybe?

Dreams of childhood times (with a twisted spin, of course)

Change...
You never fully understand it till it reaches something you never imagined would change...or didn't want to

Thursday, November 22, 2012

بيقولك "عملنا" ثورة

صلي عالنبي...
بيقولك مرة ناس نزلوا يتظاهروا زي كل مرة فـ لقيوا المرة دي مختلفة جدا
ناس كتيرة تعرف وناس كتيرة بتضم وهجوم رهيب عليهم
بيقولك في خلال الأحداث دي حصلت حاجات محورية جدا زي قطع الإتصالات اللي فشخ الداخلية اكتر ناس، ومع ذلك محدش عارف يبرر الحاجات المحورية دي اللي كانت أكتر سبب في النتائج اللي حصلت
بيقولك إعلام المعرصين اللي كان بينافق النظام القديم قعَد يقول على اللي حصل ثورة وإن اللي عملها الناس دي، قاموا مصدقينه
الناس دي بقى مالقيتش حاجة نافعة فضلوا يعملوا اللي ما نفعش قبل كدة (تقريبا من مبدا إن الإيد البطالة نجسة، والله أعلم)
بيقولك دايما تسألهم "عايزين إيه؟" فيكون الرد "مش عايزين (كام 600 حاجة)" طب عايزين إيه، يعني حاجة تتحقق؛ يمشي لكن يجي بداله مين؟...مفيش

بيقولك ناس نزلت تتظاهر لأسباب شريفة جدا بدون اي تخطيط أو إستراتيجية فحصلت حاجات سموها (او وافقوا على تسميتها) ثورة
بيقولك إننا كان نفسنا ده يحصل أو كنا حتى بنقول إنه هايحصل فيبقى إحنا اللي "عملنا الثورة"

وإحنا لا فاهمين ولا عارفين اللي حصل ده حصل ليه
بس هانعمل ثورة تانية...وإحنا مش واخدين بالنا برضوا

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

أمواج قصيرة: أفلا يتفكرون - ...Short waves: Marvel

To follow the truth it's necessary to understand it.
To understand the truth you must first seek the answer.
Before you seek an answer you must first understand your question & your life's mystery.
Before you understand your question you must first learn to ask.
In order to learn how to ask you must first contemplate

Before you contemplate you must open your eyes...and not just the ones in your face


لتتبع الحقيقة عليك أن تفهمها
قبل أن تفهم الحقيقة عليك أن تسعى لها
لتسعى للحقيقة لابد أن تجد و تفهم سؤالك ولغز حياتك
لتجد سؤالك عليك أن تتعلم أن تسأل
قبل أن تسأل ضروري أن تتأمل

لتتأمل عليك أن تفتح عيناك...وليس فقط اللتان في وجهك

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Youth of the Nation: How do we Be?

Knowing beforehand that the writer is an early twenties, fresh employee living in the sociological Frankenstein that is Cairo, Egypt, would help put things in perspective

Why so? (The sociological Frankenstein part)
I wrote once that we have a critical segment of an entire generation born & raised that sex, desire for sex & intimacy or the mere expression of it is wrong...not bad, WRONG!
as in shouldn't be there

This had me thinking about other aspects of social life and the path of self-actualization, which basically include friendship, intimate relationships, hobbies & areas one is passionate about

In lieu of that, the thought that crossed my mind that, in our present culture here, we have NOTHING about these things...
We don't have any place that respects & nurtures one's passions & hobbies; that childish part
We don't have a contemporary, consensual & socially welcomed way of showing affection towards the opposite sex; for instance: how should one propose? go to parents & be considered regressive (dunno the term)? talk to the girl before the parents & be considered insolent & disrespectful...what?
We don't discuss sex, nor think about personal active and/or social ways of entertainment (family/neighborhood football matches, mixed gender dances...etc); as if pleasure in life is not to be expressed or even felt publicly

THAT sheds light on another aspect which is the previous generation; how they were raised and how they dealt with us
We are the Y2K; What I see & am talking about now is the result of being raised by a generation that was taught to follow their elders without questioning or criticism
A generation raised by the back of its fathers' hand, mothers' slippers & coat-hangers and peer-pressure just waiting for one mistake to claim that their reputation & ethics are tainted

That's right; a generation taught to follow instructions without questions, that doesn't understand why & how their time came to be, eventually finding themselves with no one to give them instructions and with a later generation (entirely different time & tools) that has no one but them to ask (That's us, the later generation that's asking)

And what does the rearing generation answer? by giving the same instructions on how to live that their predecessors gave them...that's all they know

Which leaves us with what we have now: Extremity
From men believing that a relationship with women is to be asked of her parents to girls believing that desiring & feeling intimacy with a man is wrong & will be met with only pain & persecution by society (which is a fact most of the time) an in turn hide & deny this part of themselves.
Part trying to live the time their parents lived and only know how to live and judge them accordingly; a time passed. Another trying to live their time, yet to come, by aggressively denying all aspects of the time past & the ones still living in it and rejecting them.

A generation of typewriters telling a generation of computers & Word Processors how to be and act or else face life alone & shunned.

Both generations only focusing on how to prevent sadness, misery, poverty, pain; aiming only to live a life free of pain, even if it means free of pleasure as well
Almost none, save for a few survivors, focusing on how to be satisfied, pleased & fulfilled, alone & with a partner, and actually working to achieve that with acceptance of the pain that lies ahead

We stopped loving, only looking for pain-killers and sedatives
Because loving means rekindling that childish part of ourselves again, the part that others hurt us for and in escaping and preventing that pain from others, we hide & stifle what they hurt us for...

The generation of strangers & outcasts; whether to the world they live in or the world that lives in them



Then the question remains: How do we Be?

Should you be so lucky to have someone to turn to when you fall, discover and be whatever makes you satisfied
Should you be not so lucky as to be destined to go through your path alone...forgive the pain
And listen..

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

لا ترى ما ترى؛ سرابٌ للعيون

يتحدثون عن أنفسهم فكل ما أسمع هو ما مروا به
يتحدثون عما مروا به ومن مروا به معهم فكل ما أسمع هو من هم

كمن يحملق في مرآة؛ يظنه يرى نفسه ولكن يرى المرآة؛ فلا يعي أن تلك الشقوق والخدوش ليست بوجهه، ولا يعي أن تلك الخدوش والشقوق بوجه ليست بالمرآة

لا أكترث كثيرا ما يظنه...
لكني أكترث بإستعداده للتعلم، وإكتشاف طبيعة المرآة وطبيعته والفرق بينهما...والإستعداد، سعيا لفهم ذلك، للتخلي عن ما يظنه طبيعة المرآة وما يظنه طبيعته، إخضاعه لأي تحدي

وكالعادة، لا تعظ الا من يبحث عن الموعظة ولا تعلم الا من يبحث عن الدرس ولا تأخذ سوى من طلب مصاحبتك في طريقك...
وإن سرت وحيدا طوال الطريق