Tears & Crying

(No, This post won't have any head-photo of photoshopped & illustrated teardrops cyber lovers usually put as profile pictures...as a matter of fact, fuck head-photos !)

There was a story about Helen Keller, sitting one time with her teacher (forgot the name) when Helen asked her "What is love?" then proceeded to guess "Is it the warmth of the sun?" the teacher responded "No...It isn't"
"Is it the scent of the the flowers?"
"No...It isn't"

"Is it...What is it then?"
"It's what you have for these things when they are not there"

Helen commented saying that then she felt as if rays and strings from her heart shot out and connected to everything and that rays & strings from everything connected to her heart

You know what you have for what you love when you don't have it?
That's right, the love for it...Love

I'd describe it best as that space in the shape of what you love that it occupies when you finally have it (whatever that means)

The question is:...

If you had a choice to have only one of those, perhaps exchange one for another;
Would you trade the love you have for something in order to have it?
or would you give away what you have in order to feel the love for it?


Tricky...mind fucking...welcome to my life for the past 8 years

That's why i sometimes cry intentionally...
I listen to songs, look at pictures, watch movies...etc all that remind me of what i love and lost or even never had

My friend in her group who are all so close they're about to merge into one

A song about solitude that spurs images of standing on a mountain top staring sorrowfully at the moon

Another picture of a woman i wanted to but couldn't make love to

My girlfriend i cannot be with and haven't been with for a long time because of many obstacles...

And I just let it flow...

Crying felt like a recognition of that empty space in the shape of what we love and desire; it's okay for it to be empty; it's not up to you whether it is or not

Maybe that's why some find it, directly or indirectly, relieving when they cry; it's a break from the anxiety about that emptiness & the constant hurry to fill it as soon as possible with the object/target of our love

We were led to belief that this love-space is empty because of who we are, who we chose to be; we are not loved because we're ugly even though we love to be loved, we can't find good friends because we're not cool or experienced even though we'd love to have friends...

Truth is: if it was up to one's will how others & the world fill one's love-space or not, one wouldn't have ever found shortage in anything  one desires

the truth is whether they fill one's space or not is up to others' will and the world's will (Call it god's will, whatever suits you)


What can you do?

You can either accept or reject that love-space, feel it and BE with it, filled of empty

accept or reject and feel how you want them to love you, how you want to love them

That's what you can do...
My recommendation: Do what comforts you the most while doing it in itself, not what you think will lead to the most comfortable result